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Stan Anderson

[center][color=black][color=black]God’s Family[/color][/color][/center]


Genesis 1:27-28
   “So God created people in his own image; God patterned them after himself;
male and female he created them. 28God blessed them and told them, "Multiply and fill the earth and subdue it. Be masters over the fish and birds and all the animals." NLT.
   Verse 28 is guide clear, if you are unmarried how can you follow this command.
Genesis 2:23-24
"At last!" Adam exclaimed. "She is part of my own flesh and bone! She will be called 'woman,' because she was taken out of a man." 24This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” NLT
Genesis 2:23-24
“And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. 24Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” KJV
   To be whole and complete, a man and women must unit to be one.  The unmarried are not complete, a part of them lies with the help-mate God has supplied and created for every human on this earth.  For many of the unmarried, this is certainly not what they want to hear, but it is certainly true. There is no difference between the everyday lives of the unmarried and married except that one has the gift of God, a help-mate. The unmarried are alone; in the bedroom chamber and in having an accountability partner that far exceeds that of any other human interaction.  I can give you documented study after study that paint one undelegable fact; individual attainment, personal satisfaction, and general health is increased in the marital institution.  We sin when we do not actively try to do God’s will; in this case finding our help-mate. 
   God’s goal for us, is to make us perfect as unto His image and complete, so there is a help-mate for each and every one of us. God calls us to go out and proclaim the good news for we are His hands and feet; for the unmarried that means to go forth as a child of God and state that I am looking for my help-mate. An old friend once said, “If the only person knocking at your door is the ups driver then it may be time to start knocking on doors!”  I have yet to meet anyone who was not actively looking for a mate, in one form or another that had a spouse drop out of heaven.  Until we get to heaven, no one will be perfect, so your helpmate may only show a smile. a hug, and a prayer, if that. 
   My heart sorrows when I see articulate and intelligent Christians who have not afforded themselves of the social institution of marriage which God has blessed. With the exception of the widowed, there is not one instance where God has said, “Blessed are the unmarried.”  Doing God’s work also means continuing His Kingdom through your prodigy, be they natural or adopted. Bear in mind, Sara’s age when she was given a child to raise. Isaac was special, a keeper of the generations to Jesus, so may your prodigy.  If you are unmarried you have been directed by God to find your help-mate to be fruitful.  If you have not been successful then you need to improve those skills needed to marry.  There is no fault or sin in desiring to be one with those of the opposite gender.  From the season of being in labor to falling and not being able to get up, a helpmate makes life so much easier.  There is no better help-mate then one that is on-site. A Godly man and a Godly woman can do more than twice the work that God has directed them to do.  We are the hands and feet of Jesus on this earth, four feet can go much further then two; should you bury your gifts in unmarriedness or invest them to prosper and multiply their value for the kingdom through the marital institution? 
   While not the best example of a nuclear family; The Angels grabbed by the hand the family of Lot and delivered them from Sodom.  Even though Lot was the only one considered to be Godly in his family, God choose to bring his entire family from perdition.  God knew that Lot’s wife was a pillar of salt to be disposed of and his daughter’s were incestuous, yet God choose to save the family institution.  I believe God calls us to continue to save the family institution, for we are to be Godly in all we do. The perpetuation of the marital institution begins in our personal lives, so that we may be Godly examples to those that are unmarried, particularly the youth.  With libido’s raging and perceptions clouded, the youth would naturally assume that the unmarried in there lives are having some secret lesion to meet normal biological and social needs that intimate interactions can only satisfy.  This was an example to Abraham’s tribe of how important the family institution is. You will recall the time when God delivered the Godly wives back to Abraham, in a tactical situation unattainable through the acts of men alone.
Throughout scripture God directs His people to marry Godly people.  God directs us not to marry the ungodly, and what is clear, marriage was not an option, only those you are to marry.  How can we truly love God with all our hearts when we refuse to use the basic social institution of His Kingdom, the family institution.
   We can never know when God through His Son Jesus Christ will make His final return with shouts of victory.  Paul first believed God would return in seven short years and two thousand years later we believe that we should forsake this minute for what may happen in the next.  Being married is always better then being unmarried.  For in the institution of marriage is found the greatest example of love we can find on this earth.  While the love of spouses will never approach that of God for us all, it opens our leaking cups to be filled to overflowing with His unending love that we may profess His love to all, including our help-mate. 

   1 Cor. 7:29-31
   "But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that have wives be as though they had none; 30And they that weep, as though they wept not; and they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed not; 31And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth away."
   Paul in these verses gives a stern warning that the practices of the secular world are not to be followed and will not be part of God’s final kingdom.  At this time in Corinth it was common practice to have sex with many partners.  It was considered the norm of the day to stop by the local brothel after work, not unlike how we stop at the grocery store today.  But, even in this society, taking a virgin out of marriage was punishable by death.  Therein if you were unmarried you were either a virgin or served the brothel. 
Paul goes on to say in v.32-33 that once you have tasted the fruits of passion, it is a whole lot easier to fall into the sin of multiple partners. In v. 34, Paul goes on to remind the married that “dinner’ is to be served at home not in the brothel.  Paul is speaking about how the Godly institution of marriage should be; one man and one women.  In v.35 Paul concludes by again pointing out that those things of the secular, those things comely, are a snare and should not be allowed to be a distraction. 
   Bear in mind that when Paul wrote there were no chapters or verses and Paul begins his line of reasoning in chapter 6, Verse 15 and concludes in chapter 7, verse 40.  His dissertation is that Harlots are not part of the body of Christ. Certainly here Paul is referring to the sexual immorality brought on by the Temple prostitutes, but he is also talking about religious unfaithfulness.  Might it be that as an form of sexual sin, Paul also is alluding to the lack of marital cohabitation and juxtaposition of the family social unit of the unmarried as well. What is true is that Paul is referring to the armor of God, the Jambres, which is that of the leg, which is to under gird, to brace by means of, to follow His example of life obedient to the will of God. As it would appear that some of the church were found to be at the temple even during the Sabbath. A Harlot is also a depiction of those that dissociate or separate themselves from the common practices of the His Word and His Church. A Harlot is finally one who is martially unfaithful and as such all are called to abide by the bonds of marital unity.
   For those that do not actively seek the marital bond, Paul gives wise counsel in
1 Cor.10:23, “All things (in Christ) are lawful for me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but all things edify (the kingdom of God) not.” Always bear in mind that Sister White, married rather late in life and it was not until after marriage that she came to and wrote the majority of her revelations of scripture.  The many currently unmarried certainly do a wonder in God’s work, as do the youth and the widowed.  But, those works are manifest through the marital bond all the more, for we are made whole through the marital bond. 
   We all fear the unknown. But, we know that God will be there. Participation is the key to success, a tree full of fruit is worthless if fruit is not harvested.  Ask a friend over for Sabbath supper, set some comfortable boundaries, and learn the skills needed for interpersonal relationships that guide friendship to a Godly relationship and “marital bliss.”   

Stan

Stan  (the other one)

Not all things work out the way some would want them to.

There are plenty of singles in the Bible, one of the prophets was told to be single by God, I am talking about Jeremiah.

Jesus was a single. Paul felt it was best to be single

If God has given you direction to be married, it should be listen to. Thisis between you and God. I know some, who should have NEVER gotten married and it has created a hellish life for THEM. I believe God's choice would be for some to be single.

Unmarrieds can be complete, I know some.

Stan

PS I am the webmaster here, and I am married.
Thanks for your response webmaster Stan. Yes, there were a lot of singles in the Bible. There was Jesus, Paul, John the Baptist, Anna, Naomi, Nehemiah, Jeremiah, Joseph (for quite a while), to name a few. They were all true children/disciples of God and He loved and accepted them as they were. Then He began working in their lives to make them more like Him. That is something we must all learn.
I've reread the first post in this thread by Stan A and am wondering......Why are you single, Stan? Seems to me you are not happy with your own singleness.  I for one would like to publicly say that I cannot agree with your reasoning and the conclusions you have come to in regard to the texts you have quoted about singleness and/or marriage in the Bible.  You use some texts well and then you leave out some other texts on the topic. Maybe this needs to be studied more thoroughly?

LoriH

I have tried not to respond to this post because in all honesty it infuriates me because it is demeaning and destructive to singles and actually not good for married individuals either. I believe that it is attitudes such as this one that is part of the reason that there is such a high divorce rate, I mean if I really believed this nonsense then I would be out there in desperation hunting someone to marry so that I could be "complete" and "within God's plan" and folks that is what alot of people do and they end up marrying the wrong person and either end up unhappily married or divorced.

"God calls us to go out and proclaim the good news for we are His hands and feet; for the unmarried that means to go forth as a child of God and state that I am looking for my help-mate." Based on Stan A.'s premise here unless we are married we are not to be going out and proclaiming the good news of Christ, we are to be telling everyone about ourselves and our need rather than telling people about God, what He has done in our lives and how wonderful He is. When I read my Bible that is not what I am taught.

"We sin when we do not actively try to do God’s will; in this case finding our help-mate." This is an interesting statement by Stan A., here we find that he is essentially saying that any number of people in the Bible including Jesus sinned (and we know this is absolutely untrue) because He was not married and was not actively seeking his help-mate. Let's see that would mean that John the Baptist, Anna, Ruth, Joseph, and Jeremiah just to name a few were not "complete" or "within God's plan" and somehow I just don't find that in my Bible.

"How can we truly love God with all our hearts when we refuse to use the basic social institution of His Kingdom, the family institution." From what I read in the Bible it says, "If you love me, keep my commandments." What are God's commandments...would that be the Ten Commandments, if so I don't find anywhere in them a decree that says..."Everyone is to marry and multiply that your days may be long upon this land." Rather than seeing singleness as not loving God I think it shows great love...sure marriage would be wonderful and we all probably think so but, what great love we show to God and our fellow man when we accept the gift (singleness) that He God gives us and put it to use..."No greater love hath man than that he lay down his life for his brother." Sure singles are in a sense laying down their lives (or at least their desires) and when they put it to work for God, what great love is expressed.

Paul is very clear in 1 Corinthians (remember while these are Paul's words they are inspired by God and since the Bible is God's letter to His people I sincerely doubt that anyone is in there that God would not support).

1 Corinthians 7:1-2 "Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband." This would seem to support Stan A.'s theory but, that is only if it is taken out of context...when you read on there is further counsel.

1 Corinthians 7:8-9 "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am. 9But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion." I don't think there is any way to misinterpret what that is saying!

The following brings up some interesting discussion points to refute what Stan A. proposes..."Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches." If there was only one place, that being as a married person, that God has called us too then why in God's inspired word does Paul say that we should "retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him"? Taken from 1 Corinthians 7:17

Paul goes on to give wise counsel and from what I read it totally goes against what Stan A. proposes...1 Corinthians 7:25-35 "Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord's mercy is trustworthy. 26Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are. 27Are you married? Do not seek a divorce. Are you unmarried? Do not look for a wife. 28But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this. 29What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; 30those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away. 32I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord."

Stan A. while part of Chapter 6 of 1 Corinthians may be part of the letter with Chapter 7 that Paul was writing to the Corinthians chapter 7 starts a new address so your statement, "Bear in mind that when Paul wrote there were no chapters or verses and Paul begins his line of reasoning in chapter 6, Verse 15 and concludes in chapter 7, verse 40." holds no truth and under your premise the address could back up even further but, it doesn't.

I guess I have belabored this point long enough...the bottom line is I agree with Darlene and Webmaster Stan! Unmarried individuals can be complete (with God in their lives) and I would like to join Darlene in saying, "I cannot agree with your reasoning and the conclusions you have come to in regard to the texts you have quoted about singleness and/or marriage in the Bible." It will be my prayer for you that you will allow God to remove the film of misinterpretation from your eyes and that you will see His scriptures with a new and true understanding.

In His Honor
LoriH

Jeffrey Lamb

Mr. Anderson...in the Bible God does, through deductive reasoning, in fact refer to the single Christian as blessed. In 1Corinthians 7:7 we see that each man has his proper GIFT from God. A gift from God is a BLESSING. It also speaks of two separate manners, one referring to marriage and the other referring to REMAINING SINGLE. In case you can't find it Mr. Anderson, I will include it here:

1 Corinthians 7:7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that.

Clearly remaining single is a gift from God as defined by this text. Since a gift is a blessing, and God gives the gift of being single, it is perfectly logical and reasonable to say that being single is a gift God gives to some and not to others. This also shows that it is also God's will for some to be single and remain so. Further proof of this is witnessed through numerous singles mentioned in the Bible.

Paul advocates being single but states that singleness is not for everyone. Paul advocates that Christians should do as according to the MANNER of the GIFT GOD gives them. He further states that God did not command him to say these things, but that he was given the PERMISSION of God to say these things as we see in:

1 Corinthians 7:6 But I speak this by permission, and not of commandment.

Paul refers to the fact that not all are of strong enough character to remain single.

1 Corinthians 7:1-2 1 Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

Also 1 Corinthians 7:9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

By permission from God, Paul is clearly stating that if a single Christians is not of strong enough character to “avoid fornication”, “it is better to marry than to burn”. This concept is confirmed by the words of Jesus we find in :

Matthew 5:29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

Paul teaches in:

1 Corinthians 7:27 Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed from a wife? seek not a wife.

Paul also teaches:

1 Corinthians 7:17 But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one, so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches.

1 Corinthians 7:24 Brethren, let every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God.

The apostle Paul acknowledges that God created marriages and blesses them. He states that marriage is necessary for those who would otherwise commit fornication. Paul clearly states that the Christian should live according to which ever gift God chooses to give, either singleness or marriage.

There you go Mr. Anderson. You have been shown your beliefs about singleness to be in error from the Bible itself. If you choose not to believe the whole Bible, then you have a whole bunch more issues you need to deal with. Jeffrey Lamb
Thanks to all for being courteous and kind. Yes, we can disagree strongly with one another and that is okay. The proof of a true Christian is to disagree with what another believes without putting the person down or destroying them.

No I do not agree with what Stan A. is saying about what the Bible has to say about singleness but, I know that he too does not agree with what I am saying about singleness either. That's okay. Each person has every right to their own beliefs and to state those beliefs in a courteous manner. I believe that is the way a discussion forum should be.
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