Stan Anderson
03-22-2006, 05:58 PM
[center]Intransigence[/center]
There is a story of a Buddhist Zen Master that taught a young monk a lesson that we all may lay claim to. Repeatedly the monk tries to please his master with just the right consistency for the pots of rice he has prepared and each time the rice was not quit right and the master throws all the pots to the floor. Finally, with the greatest care the monk prepared the perfect pot of rice. When he approached the master, he realized that this pot, too, was not right and he himself throws it to the ground. In response, the master proclaimed, “perfect.”
We all are burdened by our failures and circumstances and strive in our own way to find resolve. But, many times the resolve is not a solution but an acknowledgement that the master in none less then the burden itself. It is when we become focused on the result rather then solutions that we become disillusioned and mired in self-pity. We allow our vanities to dictate our actions. Disappointment is a fact of life that everyone must deal with every day. Having a fixation on what could have been or what should have been does not even address the current issue. When disappointment develops into disillusionment we try to justify our failing by rationalizing our position. We repaint the picture in such a way as to make our complicity appropriate and righteous, ignoring or restating the facts to match the new portrait. This irrational visualization then carries into a form of clouded perception in all our other activities. In time this contorted perspective can be so pervasive that realistic visualization becomes almost impossible. It is not unlike “sleeping sickness” where with the increasing duration of time it becomes almost impossible to perceive current reality in its fullest form.
When coupled with our innate fear of the unknown, the fear of failure can be so overpowering that we literally find socially acceptable methods to perpetuate the very entrenchments that we desire to alleviate. It is when our very best efforts result in something other what we fully expected that we become overwhelmed in an unrealistic fear that entrenches us into position of inactivity. We literally come into a belief that when we do nothing at all to achieve our deepest desires we will feel better because there will be no failure. Intransigence becomes the norm in our daily activities. When coupled, rationalization and unfounded fears result in phobias. A phobia is quite simply an unfounded strong aversion or dislike. Phobias are our defense mechanisms gone amuck. Rejection is an incredible catalyst for phobias. There was a women, that though she had never been remotely subjected to rape or any situation that had placed in her harm’s way firmly believed that any situation that isolated her with a potential spouse could result in rape. This phobia continued for nearly twenty years until she realized that her belief was merely founded in a fear of rejection.
It is when we come to understand that action and interaction is frout with failure more often then we would ever hope that we can come to terms with disappointment. It is also in the understanding that situations and relations will never be “ideal.” There must be an understanding that in any given situation our perceived goals must be always tempered by result even to the extent of process evaluation. Realistic perseverance is the key to achieving result. Edison remarked that he had only found ten thousand ways on how not to make a functional light bulb when asked about his failure rate. Success is then a learning curve tempered by the failures we have. Failure is but a stepping stone to success when used to improve the method. Failure is a positive result of action for in one sense it reflects a desire to avoid intransigence and inactivity. For most of us we our “on that great battlefield” and we must firmly believe “dang the torpedoes, full speed ahead.” When our goals are realistic and pragmatic the truest measure of success is measured not by the result but by the attempt. The goal then is to use our failings, as strengths, to implement positive result, to find benefit in all our activities. To paraphrase Martin Luther King, “bitterness produces bitterness, anger produces anger, and revenge only perpetuates the cycle. Only when hate stops does the cycle stop.” It is appropriate to accept our failures but it is entirely something else when we allow those failures to dictate our deepest goals and desires. When we avoid those very processes needed to achieve our goals we become mired in the cycle of failure.
There is a story of a Buddhist Zen Master that taught a young monk a lesson that we all may lay claim to. Repeatedly the monk tries to please his master with just the right consistency for the pots of rice he has prepared and each time the rice was not quit right and the master throws all the pots to the floor. Finally, with the greatest care the monk prepared the perfect pot of rice. When he approached the master, he realized that this pot, too, was not right and he himself throws it to the ground. In response, the master proclaimed, “perfect.”
We all are burdened by our failures and circumstances and strive in our own way to find resolve. But, many times the resolve is not a solution but an acknowledgement that the master in none less then the burden itself. It is when we become focused on the result rather then solutions that we become disillusioned and mired in self-pity. We allow our vanities to dictate our actions. Disappointment is a fact of life that everyone must deal with every day. Having a fixation on what could have been or what should have been does not even address the current issue. When disappointment develops into disillusionment we try to justify our failing by rationalizing our position. We repaint the picture in such a way as to make our complicity appropriate and righteous, ignoring or restating the facts to match the new portrait. This irrational visualization then carries into a form of clouded perception in all our other activities. In time this contorted perspective can be so pervasive that realistic visualization becomes almost impossible. It is not unlike “sleeping sickness” where with the increasing duration of time it becomes almost impossible to perceive current reality in its fullest form.
When coupled with our innate fear of the unknown, the fear of failure can be so overpowering that we literally find socially acceptable methods to perpetuate the very entrenchments that we desire to alleviate. It is when our very best efforts result in something other what we fully expected that we become overwhelmed in an unrealistic fear that entrenches us into position of inactivity. We literally come into a belief that when we do nothing at all to achieve our deepest desires we will feel better because there will be no failure. Intransigence becomes the norm in our daily activities. When coupled, rationalization and unfounded fears result in phobias. A phobia is quite simply an unfounded strong aversion or dislike. Phobias are our defense mechanisms gone amuck. Rejection is an incredible catalyst for phobias. There was a women, that though she had never been remotely subjected to rape or any situation that had placed in her harm’s way firmly believed that any situation that isolated her with a potential spouse could result in rape. This phobia continued for nearly twenty years until she realized that her belief was merely founded in a fear of rejection.
It is when we come to understand that action and interaction is frout with failure more often then we would ever hope that we can come to terms with disappointment. It is also in the understanding that situations and relations will never be “ideal.” There must be an understanding that in any given situation our perceived goals must be always tempered by result even to the extent of process evaluation. Realistic perseverance is the key to achieving result. Edison remarked that he had only found ten thousand ways on how not to make a functional light bulb when asked about his failure rate. Success is then a learning curve tempered by the failures we have. Failure is but a stepping stone to success when used to improve the method. Failure is a positive result of action for in one sense it reflects a desire to avoid intransigence and inactivity. For most of us we our “on that great battlefield” and we must firmly believe “dang the torpedoes, full speed ahead.” When our goals are realistic and pragmatic the truest measure of success is measured not by the result but by the attempt. The goal then is to use our failings, as strengths, to implement positive result, to find benefit in all our activities. To paraphrase Martin Luther King, “bitterness produces bitterness, anger produces anger, and revenge only perpetuates the cycle. Only when hate stops does the cycle stop.” It is appropriate to accept our failures but it is entirely something else when we allow those failures to dictate our deepest goals and desires. When we avoid those very processes needed to achieve our goals we become mired in the cycle of failure.
